A compliment or a kind word can sprout roses in my tread and set the path for a great day. On the same note, when someone is rude to me for no reason, it plants seeds of negativity to grow in a variety of ways.
The slightest rude jester can plant negative thoughts in another, or at least, in myself. Perhaps I am a sensitive being, but I never seek to insight those feelings because I know how it affects me. I always strive to be kind to others – I don’t know them, what’s going on, or what they are going through. Kindness is always the way to go – and I will never understand people who are rude for no reason. Today the smallest gesture set me on a bad path, but by the end I broke that cycle.
This morning on my way to work I was driving in an unknown area to go give a presentation. To my surprise, the lane I was driving in became a turning-only lane and I knew I needed to course correct, otherwise, I’d be completely lost and late. I looked over to the stopped lane of traffic next to me and slowed down. I waved to the nearest woman and signaled to ask if it was okay for me to jump in front of her when the light turned green.
Well! Miss Toyo-too-good-to-be-nice-at-7am seemed to shake her head violently and yell at me. Rude. It really put me off. First of all, I am not a morning person, so I already grumpy, and I started the morning with a lot of unexpected things on my plate, but this person’s response was the final tick to set the tone for the rest of my day. It’s truly amazing how one small incident and lack of kindness can do that. It always shocks me when someone is rude for no reason.
The little voice inside my head shouted. Well, I hope you have a bad day! Which, coming from me, is quite the insult.
Now, don’t get me wrong, if someone were to cut me off to get in my lane I wouldn’t be happy about it – regardless of knowing the area or not. But if someone is nice enough to ask to jump in front of me, I will always oblige.
These frustrated feelings from my little morning battle began seeping into everything else. Including my writing life- and I don’t mean the fact that I’m writing about it. I was looking at my blog and searching around WordPress a bit. I came across something about bad writers.
And that little part of my brain that angrily thought-shouted to the lady got heated again- sensitive and defensive.
Why? The little voice in my head – already focused on negative thoughts – read it as condescending. Most likely I read it incorrectly – but at least I can identify that. The words may not have been meant negatively, but that was the feeling I got.
Then I thought about it more. Why did it bother me so? It bothered me because sometimes I do feel lesser than the JK Rowlings and Vincent Van Goghs of WordPress. I am a self-professed ”bad” writer, just trying to find my voice and direction. Is that really so bad? Is it bad to be a bad writer?
I read the work of the great’s and see their following. It’s impressive – and seemingly unattainable. Who am I? I’m just Melanie.
But despite the rude woman in the car and the words I saw, I know that I am a kind person and I know that I have the ability to write. You don’t have to be a great person – you just have to be the best version of yourself. You don’t have to be a great writer – you just have to do what you love.
By no stretch do I consider myself a great writer, but I have something to say, something I want to get down on paper. I don’t write this blog and write stories because I want people to think I am great. I just write what I have in my head because I have the desire to do so, and then I hope there are others out there who do appreciate the little glimpses into my imagination. They may not be great, or well crafted for that matter, but they are my words. If someone even sees I posted something, great. If someone indicated that they enjoyed or have some helpful critique – wonderful! But in the end, I write for me and I write to grow.